Claire has noticed, at least in the School of Architecture, that “the girls seem to be driven and just focused on academics … a little more serious about it (than guys).” “I would say the qualities of guys I generally come across are not necessarily guys I would date,” said Claire, also a junior. “I have to hold myself back from being like, ‘What are you doing? The way that you’re living is contributing to your unhappiness.’” “Sometimes it is just very frustrating to me when I want to tell a guy I know who is living his life in some sort of unsatisfactory way,” said Isabela, a junior. Across the country, this means that a large minority of heterosexual women cannot find any men to date on their college campuses.Īnd even when it comes to the men who are in college, female students are often disappointed with the quality of the guys they find, even at the University of Virginia. Nationally, it is worse: there are almost 60 women for every 40 men. At our university, women outnumber men 56 to 44. Here at U.Va., one of the signs of the young man problem is that they are, simply, absent from “Grounds,” our word for campus. Too many boys have grown up in homes without engaged or present fathers, which has left them especially unprepared to navigate school, work and relationships successfully. Our “young men problem” is rooted in a range of factors - the rise of electronic opiates, which distract young men from education and work and have come to replace traditional avenues of social relations the absence of models of pro-social masculinity that furnish norms for male engagement in school, work and relationships as they move into adulthood a culture that discounts commitment and biological differences in rates of male and female maturation.īut a new report from the Institute for Family Studies, “ Life Without Father,” suggests that another issue is in play. Young men are increasingly less likely than women to enroll in college and less likely than women to apply themselves even if they land in college a growing number of them are also idle or underemployed as they move through their 20s. This problem is visible in our schools, colleges and universities, and today’s marketplace. The relationship frustrations of women like these are rooted in a broader problem: They do not have a ready pool of good young men to date, partly because many of our nation’s young men are floundering as they make the transition from adolescence to young adulthood. My parents met in college, which was common among their generation, and are about to celebrate their 30th anniversary. Many of my friends and I are frustrated with the lack of maturity our guy friends exemplify. They want to hook up with girls, but that’s it. don’t want to commit to an actual relationship. Take Cece, a rising senior: “The majority of the guys I’ve encountered at U.Va. This is not to say that such men are entirely absent at U.Va., where we teach and attend school they are just in short supply relative to the women with a clear focus on their future and interested in a serious relationship. Where are the good guys? The guys interested in commitment, and the guys who have drive, ambition and purpose? It’s a recurring lament we hear from women at the University of Virginia:
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